Uncertain
by Scorpion Lyra
Summary: Time pass, Rin grows up and change, so does Sesshoumaru’s feelings for the girl… But what happens when not even him can tell what are those feelings? (So bad at summaries… don’t judge the fic for it…)


Shesshoumaru's POV

I looked at her again. I still couldn't believe she was the little girl I saved, at least it seemed to me, just a while ago. Maybe some years had passed… But she couldn't have changed that much. And right in front of my eyes…

She's just a little distance away from me, but I'm glad she didn't notice me staring at her. I know she wouldn't be scared, just a little embarrassed. I see her acting so natural, so freely. More and more it becomes a mystery to me why she's so shy when I'm around. Well… Why am I pretending I don't think everything about her is a mystery to me?

I still don't know why I saved her… Why I let her stay with me for all those years… I simply despised all humans… But I just happened to want her with me… At first I don't know… I thought about her just like a little pet… Someone I didn't mind much but took care anyway… But as time went by I started in some level to enjoy her company… And, for more pathetic it is to admit it, seeing her right now, grown up… I feel just a little attracted to her.

She became somehow beautiful… for a human. Now I understood my brother's feelings for that human girl who was with him all the time. Wait! What am I doing? How did I get to this point? I just can't be observing a _human_ and be comparing myself to my half-youkai brother!

Definitely her presence now isn't doing me much good. Besides, I realize I never really thought about it, but this girl spent all her life by my side and that doesn't seem right. Perhaps she should live with the ones of her kind. Suddenly, I make a decision.

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- You wanted to see me, Mr. Sesshoumaru? – The girl asked in the shy tone she saved only for the youkai in front of her.

- Yes, Rin. I just wanted to tell you that you should go away.

- Huh? Go away? Why, Mr. Seshoumaru?

- You spent all your life with me, Rin. Maybe you should have been with other… humans.

- I can't go, Mr. Sesshoumaru. I own you my life. I have a debt with you. I have to be with you for all my life.

- What if I don't want that?

- You'd have to kill me. Please Mr. Sesshoumaru, let me stay. I don't feel comfortable in other human's presence anymore. I… I only feel comfortable when I'm… With you.

Sesshoumaru just kept staring at the girl with the same cold, emotionless expression. He wasn't sure what to do. But Rin had to go. He couldn't let himself care too much about a _human_. That was a weakness and a shame for a youkai like him.

- Just go, Rin.

- I can't. – The girl answered with tears in her eyes.

The youkai didn't answer. Rin thought for just a second. She couldn't go away. Her life just wouldn't make sense anymore. So… She didn't care. In her first impulsive act she suddenly grabbed the youkai's neck and kissed him with passion.

Sesshoumaru was shocked with Rin's act. He almost instinctly attacked the girl. Normally, he would kill anyone crazy enough to do such thing. But that girl… He just couldn't. But, anyway, what was she doing? What was that?

Rin just kept kissing Sesshoumaru, waiting for him to kill her. But nothing happened.

The youkai was still trying to understand what Rin was doing and why was he enjoying it. Without thinking, Sesshoumaru slipped his tongue inside the girl's mouth and, without noticing it, kissed her back.

It was weird for both of them, but it simply felt good. Actually it was weird at first. Then it just felt _natural_.

- Please, Mr. Sesshoumaru. Don't make me go. I love you.

- You can stay, Rin. – Was his only answer before turning away. He didn't know what the hell all that meant and he knew that now, more than ever, he needed to be away from her. But he didn't care. He always figured out what to do. He didn't know if he loved her back… He wasn't sure about what exactly love was. The only thing that mattered was that he liked and cared about Rin and didn't want her to go. And that was his only sure.

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A/N: just a few comments: I became an IY fan just a while ago so if any of the characters are OOC or any other mistake, Sorry! Please tell me what you thought about the fic... Then I can improve for the next one

see ya

Lyra


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